This is the second in a series of 5 posts that will help explain attachment stress. If you haven’t read out first post about the hard-wired need to attach, start there.
As children, the way that we attach to the caregivers and significant people in our lives informs the way we behave and cope with stress. Seeking to maintain contact with our attachment figures (caregivers) is the prime motivation in relationships and, ideally, allows children to use that secure attachment to soothe and regulate their emotions. This is what you saw in The Still Face Experiment Video— the baby girl is able to calm down, stop crying, and smile within seconds of her mom tuning back in. Her attachment to her mother allows her to have a safe haven and a secure base. This baby girl knows her mother will be there for her. She trusts that relationship.
When we don’t have that secure base, we are emotionally isolated and hurt. You saw how quickly the baby girl got upset when her mom stopped responding. Imagine if her mom didn’t stop the experiment and reassure her that she was back. A baby that young doesn’t have other resources or skills to self-soothe. The baby would have learned that she cannot always count on her mom — and, over time, her mom would not be a secure base.
In difficult times, adults and children need other humans to stand with us. To say “I’ll be there for you!” and then show up for us. Even if they can’t fix the problem– just be with us IN the problem is soothing.
In this video, Sue Johnson demonstrates this finding in adults, using functional MRIs. Not only did emotional attachment and security increase for the couples after completing Emotionally Focused Therapy, so did the physical pain they experienced. Emotional isolation increases pain. It is suffering. Check out the video and tell me what you think!
Isabel Groedel is a Licensed Master Social Worker who specializes in supporting adolescents, adults, couples and families in overcoming behavioral and emotional challenges. She is bilingual (English and Spanish) and is trained in EMDR and Emotion Focused Therapy.
My clinical career began with a strong interest in the psychological impact of illness and disability and a master’s degree in medical rehabilitation counseling. Helping people adjust to the unique experiences of medical journeys was powerful and fulfilling– but I soon realized that my clients’ medical needs impacted everyone in their family. Partners, parents, siblings, children: they are all touched by their loved one’s illness or disability. The whole system was in pain and their relationships were fracturing.
Early in in this work I was able to join into the lives of adults with severe and persistent mental illness and help them to fashion wellness and recovery in their own communities and with their own families. I was in the thick of life with men and women having full and robust and connected lives even while facing some of the most challenging brain diseases and it was due significantly to their close family supports. This pushed me to pursue a deeper understanding of family systems. I was lucky to be living in an area which was the birthplace of family systems therapy. I spent several years being mentored and trained by people who have devoted their research and their lives to helping develop strong connected families. This work fundamentally changed how I viewed the world and my own family. Through my time devoted to Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy i not only learned but actually experienced that no one is ever truly alone and we grow best and heal best together.
My interest in counseling originated from a desire to repair broken relationships within my own family. My exploration to seek wholeness and restoration for the emotional wounds of my past began with reading books about how family relationships work and then progressed to my majoring in psychology in college. I began to learn about how we impact each other and how important it is to seek my own emotional health and healing. This led to my desire to not only seek my own counseling but also to pursue counseling as a career. How meaningful and fulfilling would it be to not only heal my own personal hurts and relationships but also to help others do the same?
We offer retreats, workshops, and groups that support our clients and the communities in Fayette and Coweta Counties.
Groups and Workshops are a great way to get support and improve skills in a cost effective manner! Here are the groups that are currently forming:
Couples coming to us, often report needing help with one or more of the following concerns:
The Center for Living Balance is the product of personal and business evolution. Founded by Amy Jaynes in 2016 as a solo counseling practice, the center has always focused on personal and relational well-being. As Amy’s passion for healing relational bonds continued to grow, she became more active in the professional mental health community. She was speaking at local events, serving on boards, and generally spreading the word about the power of healing attachment.
Do you need a speaker for your event or organization? We can bring any of our workshops and seminars to you! 
Staying connected through life’s many stages is challenging work– we help families wade through those disconnected moments to find the path back to connection. We see families who are seeking help with:
Many of our clients spend their days taking care of the needs of other people — often at the expense of their own well-being or needs. We understand (and live!) this unique experience that can create anxiety, depressed mood, increased stress, compassion fatigue, relational distress, and burnout for:
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