On the cusp of a new school year, a new job and a million small changes I was feeling scattered, trying to make 48 hours of stuff fit into 24, and be who I needed to be for myself and everyone I love.
I sat there in my kitchen mind whirling, sipping morning coffee and as I looked at my 3 year old daughter talking into her plastic walkie talkie donning full firefighter regalia it hit me. Just how easy it was to be whatever we needed to be when we were children. Big & Brave – firefighter outfit, Fabulous & Fierce – 15 layers of tulle skirts and your fathers aviators, Vulnerable & Important – swaddling blanket and tiara. “I am the baby queen of roses! Mommy can you make me into a burrito?!” she says after a long first few days of being the big sister for the first time, not just the little sister.
I sometimes wish it were that easy to switch roles at a moments notice. Imagine it if I could bring my assertive Mom Voice to to the gym with me and to tell myself: just get started it will be fun once you get going! Maybe, I could bring the vulnerability I make space for with my clients to my relationships with dear ones by asking them to pick up my kids from daycare only so I can have five minutes of time I desperately need to myself.
And maybe I’m not so unlike my daughter after all. While I typically don’t walk around with a tiara, there are days that I rock those red shoes because I need them. There are days I say “Coffee First” before I read the email. Those are the days I’m able to live the authentic life I really want.